Civil CommunicatorReviews 51

It's been a wonderful program and has really helped me avoid getting roped into arguments with my daughters mom. A lot of the things they taught me in the beginning I use daily with work just to keep all my communications more Civil.

For many years I have struggled with communicating with my abusive child's father. After leaving him in 2017, we still have issues. We used talking parents at first which was a horrible site that allowed for anything to come through. There were no filtering of messages and it came to a point where I couldn't read any messages from talking parents in fear of what it would do to my day coming from my ex. He tried to get back together a hundred times and begged me to go to counseling with him after I met my future husband. It was exhausting. I had taken him back about 5 times before I decided to leave. I couldn't co parent my child because I couldn't read all the blame, hostility and emotion that was underneath every message that was supposed to be about my son. In turn, it made me angrier and more depressed feeling like I couldn't do anything but to fight back. When I got tired of fighting, I contacted my lawyer and she recommended civil communicator. After getting an order in place with my ex through mediation, I demanded that civil communicator be our new platform of communication. He refused adamantly. He lost control having to be filtered. What a god send this site has been! It is absolutely wonderful that they filter out the bullying, the negative, the hostile and demeaning messages that could come forward. They will reject and revise messages that the other party sends including your own messages that need work as well. They also help you and coach you on how to improve your own communication so that you can be a better co parent for your child. What a gift. There are not a lot of services out there that provide this much support. In any break up where children are involved, you have a ton of emotion. Civil communicator helps you learn to speak in a way that is not layered in that emotion. You have to be open to improving yourself. You have to be open to seeing your own mistakes and where you can improve. I have learned a lot about how to communicate properly using civil communicator and take my emotion out of it. I have piece of mind when I see several rejected messages from my ex that civil communicator protects me from. Everyone that works there are parents with legal expertise. If you are in a situation like mine, and you just want the pain and heartache to stop so that you can co parent your child and live a life of peace, sign up to use them. They are highly regarded by judges as well.

Civil Communicator(CC) has changed my life for the better because of the following reasons:

They provide a filter, protection, and coaching for those being manipulated or gaslit. Creating a space for relief. Giving you a voice. Hearing you out.

In a relationship with children and joint-decision making, you can't always distance yourself enough to be healed from trauma. We had been on https://talkingparents.com for nearly three years. Bullying and intimidation took place through other apps, email, text, child exchanges, the daycares, family, etc. It was a free for all. Physiologically, I'd panic each time I got a message because there was still so much power and control and so little support. The stress was very hard on my body; I began losing hair.

What you're up against is a court system dealing with hundreds of thousands of people, stories, voices, noises, *accusations.* At the end of the day, pointing fingers, true as it may be, is futile. What you need is to be on the offensive to maintain composure and heal one step at a time.

Without safety and predictability, there will always be a fall-out in cooperation. That's how communication works. This is vital. It would push me past my breaking point.

When we ended up back in court, I pushed for CC, until it could be mandated. CC provided reprieve:

"Reprieve re•prieve rĭ-prēv′ - To prevent or suspend the punishment of (someone, especially a convicted criminal)." In high-conflict hostile communication environments, abusers will treat you like a criminal to justify behavior. You need help, distance, space, to get out of the line of fire.

It distanced me a bit; enough. It created accountability. And data analytics to boot. It's been over a year since I began using CC.

I no longer have to face interaction without guidance.
I no longer have to face receiving new messages or replies without the other party's communication first being filtered through a coach.
I no longer feel the panic when I receive communication. I don't feel anything.
I could schedule time with CC and their coaches any time, free of charge to re-understand the rules.
CC has impacted my life for the better.

Tips:
Be Coachable. Early on, I didn't agree with revisions the coaches gave or they felt unfair. I determined to be coachable. Be coachable, it's uncomfortable but not as uncomfortable as doing it alone.

Give Context. Context is king. Use the coaching credits to tell your story in the box below your message. It helps the coach understand where you're coming from. They are there to help - this is what you're paying for. Advocate for yourself when you disagree.

Listen & Learn. They not only help you edit your message, they give instruction like, "Try to avoid hearsay statements. Hearsay is considered anything that someone else tells you, other than the person to whom you are speaking. We follow court rules regarding hearsay."

Take Notes. This will save you time. Consider, when you get a response with coaching, where else you've struggled in communication in life and how else you can apply this information to be more direct and less ridiculous. Take notes when they call you with the rules.

Be patient: The coaches are human too. With any communication, there will be miscommunication or misunderstanding. Work on your relationship with your coach. Exercise grace & find that you receive it.

I was ordered by a judge in family court to use Civil Communicator for all important correspondence between myself and my ex-wife in February, 2019. When I received notice that they had unsuccessfully tried to bill my credit card just a few days ago, I was relieved. During my two-year experience with them, I realized that they far exceed their mandate to monitor and insure civil discourse. They edited both our emails aggressively for content, revising or deleting portions that they felt were uncivil, using their own arbitrary criteria.

Normal, even-tempered communications with my ex-wife were edited to remove all trace of negative emotion, of language that is "directing," "accusing," "hearsay," "assuming," "passive aggressive," "confrontational," "asked and answered," and my personal favorite, "unnecessary!" It got worse over time. At the end of two years, they were editing common phrases people use in polite, but pointed, conversation. I asked them to stick to their mandate, and simply revise or admit portions that were objectionable, rather than applying arbitrary standards to otherwise common and civil conversations.

I started objecting to their removal or revision of large portions of my emails on such flimsy grounds as that my text was "confrontational," "accusing," "asked and answered" or unnecessarily. How do they know which information is already known tonthe othrer party? They should have humitity to acknowledge they don't know everything the other person knows, ang give the author the benefit of the doubt regarding what is important.

My bill from CC did not get paid this year, and based on experience, It probably won't be. They have become an impediment to, rather than a facilitator of, meaningful communication,

There are better communication services. Look around!

Rob McGregor

Civil Communicator was recommended by a CFI that was assigned to our case and they have been a life saver. We (Dad & Myself) have been using Civil Communicator for 2 years and 2 months thus far. They have been a life saver! We have been able to improve our communication and provide coaching when necessary. I highly recommend them to any family who is in turmoil and who is trying to improve their communication skills.

I have read reviews left on this site and I would just like to say, I have not been paid nor do I leave reviews for companies who don't deserve them.

My child's co-parent and I are court ordered to use Civil Communicator and I couldn't be happier. My custody situation is high conflict, so it's really nice to have a company and people who are there to help and guide when the courts, CFI's and PRE's have failed to find the best and safest interest of the victims (parent/children). You can tell the staff want what's best for all parties involved, especially for the children... their hearts are totally in what they do! The staff here are amazing and on multiple occasions taken extra time to talk with me and explain how to better approach conversations that don't lead to conflict, accusations or hurt. Civil Communicator staff also help keep things aligned with each families court orders to keep conflict to a minimum if at all. Even if I wasn't court ordered, I would choose Civil Communicator as my custody's form of communication. This company has helped me grow as a person and co-parent.

I posted a review stating my experience with civil communicator. Wasn't long and I was contacted by their attorney threatening action if I didn't take it down. When I didn't they revoked my account where I can login but it doesn't let me view any of my messages or anything for that matter except it shows I'm "active" and that I've paid but I can't view anything else. My child's mom has sent school schedule etc and I've asked repeatedly for them to unlock my account and even changed my review to just simply say to avoid this company. Still no luck and instead their attorney sent another email saying that they can choose who they do business with and that I have to take my review down if I want to use their service. This company is truly trash. Check for good reviews on them and you will come up empty handed. My experience with them has been terrible from the start. They blame my child's mom putting restrictions on the my account for example I am not allowed to mention my daughters other sister, I am not allowed to request any time changes yet she is allowed to offer time changes. As stated before please avoid this company if you are trying to co-parent and make your co parenting relationship amicable. Hope that this review saves others the huge headache that civil communicator causes.

These people are the most corrupt people I've ever encountered. They lied multiple times to the courts. They can't logically support their own protocols. They are not a communication platform, they are a litigation tool. Jennifer is close to what she said in her review. The owner and operator Leslie Breisch is a convicted felon who stole from her "husband" and her husband's family. She's a software programmer with no legal or communications experience.

https://caselaw.findlaw.com/pa-superior-court/*******.html

Further, the company is operating illegally as an unlicensed trade name of data engineering LLC, a company that is known for miss handling private personal information. Avoid them at all costs. It could cost you your relationship with your children. I suspect anybody who left a positive review is paid by the company. Despite looking I have not found anybody who's had a positive experience.

All statements are my honest opinion

I had high hopes for this system. My husband and his ex have very poor communication, and it creates a lot of tension. Unfortunately, this very pricey system was a waste of money and actually made the situation worse.

Civilcommunicator.com claims it will remove conflict from communication and provide a list of guidelines to follow, including that communications should be brief, not include hearsay, not include confrontation, and not be repetitive. Unfortunately, a human reviews the communications which inserts a level of human error, and as a result, civilcommunicator.com does not implement their guidelines consistently. Worse, it seems fairly clear that there is a gender bias against men. Additionally, the communication you try to send is often changed and the entire meaning of the message is changed by their "corrections." Finally, because of the monitoring, actually worthwhile communication is sometimes stifled, and it is impossible for the parents to get better at communicating because of it.

I say that there is a gender bias because the guidelines are clearly not being enforced on my husband's ex. She writes lengthy communications, she includes statements about what the children have said (hearsay), she sends multiple messages on the same topic (repetitive), and she often comes across as confrontational. Her communications are clearly not monitored in the same way my husband's are. For example, in one instance, we had included a statement about what my step-daughter had said, which was removed as hearsay. In the ex's response, she apparently had the same information and included what my step-daughter said in her response. Apparently it was fine for her to include hearsay, but not my husband. There are many instances of this type of lopsided enforcement. We've consistently asked the review team to enforce the guidelines consistently, but they always have an excuse as to why her communications are allowed, despite violating the guidelines. Whether it is gender bias or not, the system is worthless because their guidelines are not enforced at least on one party.

Further, the communications are changed without your acceptance, unless of course you pay a great deal of additional money. I find this absurd. It would be okay if the main point were kept, but they attempt to remove what they consider irrelevant or confrontational sentences. In doing so, they often change the meaning of messages or cause them to make no sense. For example, my husband attempted to send a message that said basically "I disagree, but I don't want to argue with you, so please just proceed." The review team changed the message to "I disagree, so please just proceed." Clearly, this makes no sense, and it created a bunch of issues.

As a result of this poorly run system, my husband communicates the bare minimum with his ex now, which has stifled much worthwhile communication and has made it impossible for either of them to get better at communicating.

I would absolutely never recommend this system to anyone.