LoveShack.orgReviews 92

Some reviewers names are familiar, others, not so much. For the ones who are familiar, glad to see that you're all alive and kicking. The site was massacred through over-moderation and especially, by his petty lordship carhill/William. If for nothing else, must admit that I'm experiencing some schadenfreude over the loss of his imaginary fiefdom.

There were some good and bad times. A chapter long forgotten until I happened on this review by accident so I joined to say "hi" to some of you and to add to the chorus of dissatisfied old members... haha.

This site was very helpful in 2013 when I faced my first heartbreak and needed advice, comfort and empathy that I could not find in real life. I did learn a lot about relationships, society and humanity. There were times when people were rude and harmful to those who were seeking out help. Many posters just wanted to be heard rather than help people, or wanted to provide 'tough love' when it was not in order. There were a lot of anti-feminists on there who use the word 'feminist' as an insult. The 'like' button was probably a bad thing. You give some advice and receive 0 likes, and the popular cool kid gives exactly the same advice 3 pages later with 10 likes. It is true about people ganging up on others, and if you stand up to the bullies then they will come after you. I like the spin-off site and found it so good and supportive but didn't realise they were just laughing behind my back. Heaven forbid your political opinions differ, or you challenge someone else's views. Most of the facts of life and relationships seem to be social, not brute facts. For many posters, there is no grey - just their own truth. I am sad that it is gone but I had enough of it anyway. Reading about problems all the time starts to get you down. Hard to let go of the site as it was the last chapter of that relationship I am still clinging to.

I loved Candle's review. I'm proud to admit I used the report post button many times. The reason why the moderators were very "strict" is because of all the abuse going on in the forum. When the new moderators started going to work, there was a lot of flaming, trolling, and cyberbullying. People would insult each other. I've saw one troll intimidate his victim by starting an account pretending to be the victim's mother. I also remember how one woman looking for advice became upset when a vigilante accused her of being a troll. I've also seen people get mobbed.

Kudos to the moderators for cleaning that place up. They decided to center the forum around people looking for advice and support instead of the Jerry Springer crowd that treated the website as a place of entertainment. The last things people going through difficult times need are to be harassed and ridiculed. I didn't give the forum five stars because people in position to give great advice don't go to relationship forums to give advice because they're too busy with their significant others.

Through a simple system of reporting posts for flaming, rude posts, and trolling, the moderators started weeding out all the undesirables. If you want to laugh at people's expense and harass people through the safety of your computer screen, you can go to all the forums that allow people to harass each other. Sorry, but I don't think it's funny when someone talks about castrating the OP of a thread or ridiculing an OP by intentionally giving crude, bad advice like groping his crush.

The moderators were trying to protect the most vulnerable people in the forum I'm going to end my review with my favorite phrase whenever I saw a rude or inappropriate post from a keyboard warrior.

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I've had good times on LS, "met" a few lovely people there, and have had several posters talk to me privately to tell me that I helped them. That, to me, is one of the best feelings in the world - knowing that you made a positive difference in someone else's life.

Unfortunately, for much of the last few years there, I've had a similar feeling while posting there that I did while living in a country that was run by a dictatorship who controlled the media and internet, where you had to watch every word you say otherwise you would be hauled in for questioning and jailed without trial. Having been on several other forums at the same time, I will say that I have never quite encountered such a draconian "enforcement" of rules. That was not the case several years ago, but really ramped up circa 2014 or so.

Yes, of course, there are other forums. I am surprised that anyone would be surprised by this. It's a free world (for most of us) and adults can do as they please. Posting on one forum does not mean you are not allowed to post on other forums. If the mere existence of "another forum" suffices to "pull posters away from LS", perhaps one might want to consider that they are having a better experience in the "other forum" than they are/were at LS, for a variety of reasons.

Anyway, RIP LS, and I hope the owner is doing okay. It's certainly not his fault, what LS became.

Good grief, Loveshack had been around for so long - what? 15 years? More? There were some incredibly insightful posts in certain forums. Study in human nature if you hung around long enough to see the patterns and repeat circumstances.

Yeah, it got bogged down in repetition, and sometimes the moderation seemed arbitrary. But not really. The moderators had a thankless job. Can't imagine what they got out of it, but I always respected the herculean effort. There was a vision of sorts.

I was so shocked at what Paul P. Said about the invite-only forum pulling LS members away. So that's where they went! This all now feels like middle school. Real life is better, but it's still disappointing.

And compromising the anonymity of members? That's scary, but how? I'm a bit skeptical about that.

It's a shame that the web forum has gone down and seems to be remaining down, as a long time poster and lurker there I miss it and also miss the connection I had with the posters there.
Moderation was tops and they did what they could do with what they were given as tools to moderate with.
As someone in the know I can say have no idea the tough items they had to deal with on a day by day basis and when you are dealing what some would say 10 year old children who think they can take out their anger on others. Each of those people would take up moderation time and many times not in mins but in hours and as many posters have already mentioned, moderation was voluntary and a gift to the owner of LoveShack
I think it's disgusting that an adult would take out their hate and anger toward another person in the review process of a website instead of just reviewing the website.
William is one of the reasons that LoveShack was still around, when faced with a group of haters who did nothing more on Loveshack than cause trouble for ALL of moderation and other posters he took the appropriate action and took out the trash, at least that is how I saw it or witnessed it happening.
I posted on LoveShack for the better part of 12/13 years and think it was stellar.
BTW, I had and have a rich full life with a full time job and family so the idea that someone has no life to have to post there is just nuts and goes to show more undeserved bitterness bestowed upon the posters there.

Hopefully we haven't seen the last of LoveShack and will one day be back to posting there.

I have been off an on this site since 2006. I wish I could have archived my posts. I will especially miss seeing the ongoing diary of LostintheWild. Her story is something I have become fully invested in over the years. I hope she has a happy ending. I also hope LS'ers migrate elsewhere. The closest thing I can find is enotalone ---

(UPDATE: DO NOT USE ENOTALONE. The moderators here are worse than anything Loveshack has ever seen. Apparently I had made an account in 2007 and posted twice, which I didn't remember, so therefore made a new one. The new account said I was banned for multiple accounts. So I tried again. Again banned. Contacted Admin and he was a COMPLETE JERK telling me that I'm not reading what he's saying and I am banned forever. So ridiculous. So much for a "support system".

I don't know where Loveshackers go from here, but I'm sorry I ever suggested this terrible site.

Thought the place was pretty cool on the whole; lots of larger than life characters, great wealth of experiences, good banter (thanks for the laughs, Haydn), though a bit too conservative for my liking in terms of politics - got a 'temporary restriction' on my account in early 2017 for saying something a little naughty about the USA Prez and was still unable to get back onto the site by March this year, so obviously 'temporary' is subject to interpretation ... Never been in trouble previous to that - thought the mods were pretty harsh on that one :( . No regrets though, the mods got to do what the mods got to do!

I didn't like the armchair mental health diagnosing at all (my bug bear) or the political echo chambers on either side of the political spectrum (civilised political debates were near impossible) but I'll definitely miss getting so many perspectives on the same issue (all very informative and a huge help in trying to make sense of human behaviour).

About 15 years for a relationship website isn't bad going. Now is just the right time to bow out, imo. Not sure all the stories were 100% kosher, but it was super entertaining. Most of the regulars were a bit egomaniac, some acted that they owned the place despite giving pretty poor advice sometimes, the mods were irrational at times but there were some people in genuine distress who really needed that outside perspective that was missing from their life. The 'tough love' was a bit over the top at times too; plenty of regulars seriously lacked empathy or care; they were just there to make themselves feel better or laugh at other people's expenses.

A lot of the regulars migrated to that other invite-only site (Diversion Forum, still very active) and tried to poach LS members they found 'worthy' to join them by sending them invites via pms on LS and had to swear to keep their forum a secret once they joined. I am reliably told they have a very active section dedicated to trash-talking LS posters or trying to find their personal data or name behind their backs, while still giving advice to them on LS.

The anonymity of some of the posters was defo compromised without their consent because of it so in legal terms, LS being taken down must be a positive.