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Decided to try something else, in this case a SIM from Blau.de
Registration was a little bumpy, but we got the Post Ident done after all. OK, so I can use this now to browse the web, right? Wait, not so fast.
Took over an hour before I received two files I needed to install. There is no mention of any of this on the website. Apparently APN settings telling your phone how to connect to the Internet. No valid APN, no Internet.
About to throw the sh*t away because it was literally slow enough to count the bits. Then came those files and for a brief moment a working connection; which decided to go dead again, without me changing anything.
Checking phone settings again, requesting, installing files again, no fun. Plus, phone number says *******. Appears that sort of joke has been around for years. The web is full of reports, no fixes though. Switched off the phone, factory reset, tried again, no no.
End of experiment.
Blau? Never again!