Nobody came … and they say I was not home 😡
Package was supposed to be delivered on the 5th January, very late in the day, after 17:00, I received an email informing me that they will deliver on the 8th January.
On January 8th I STAYED HOME ALL DAY … no tracking info … and finally at 17:30, an email telling that they tried to deliver, but I was not Home 😡😡😡😡
VERY POOR SERVICE!
NOBODY CAME TO DELIVER
Tracking number JJD**************
NOW I need to pick it up … I am not staying home an other full day!
Not my first BAD experience with DHL!

Great...

JVGL**************951 parcel got stole n the moment it was picked by dhl scammers, thieves and scumbags... full ignore from support. Stay away from these thieves and $#*!s

Avoid. Avoid at ALL COSTS. I would rather get on a plane and bring my $#*! overseas myself than have to go through DHL again. I would rather pack my delivery into a waterproof bag and purchase a canoe and physically paddle across the Atlantic than use DHL again. I would rather hire Frodo and his friends to physically walk my packages to their destination because they got closer to delivering that ring than DHL did to delivering my packages.

I had 25 large boxes of book bindings to ship out; I had packaged them nicely, printed the labels and stuck them on top for easy access. Scheduled the pickup for Monday, and they come at some point during the day (of course not during the pickup window -- do not dream of that with DHL) and the boxes are picked up. This is the start of the story where all things Appear Good before $#*! goes down and the character is put through a 300-page journey, except here it's a journey of trying not to sink into the diarrhea $#*!river that is DHL.

Tuesday, I'm happy those boxes are finally gone because they were LARGE. All's good, things are at peace.

Come Wednesday, I get an email: "We need an invoice." I've never received this request before, so I send them all the labels and Waybill doc I received in the purchase. No response, so I think it's all good.

Thursday, I receive an email response: "This is not the invoice. We need the invoice." I have no idea what invoice they're talking about, so I call customer service as to what invoice they're looking for, and they -- I kid you not -- tell me it's "the invoice" (thanks, genius). I call up my publisher, who doesn't know what it is either and sends me their proof of purchase of the DHL order. I submit to the email within the hour. I never hear from them again, so I think: okay, all good.

Number one lesson when dealing with DHL: all will NEVER be good. If someone could $#*! up slicing sliced bread, it would be DHL.

Thursday afternoon, I'm at my office when I receive a call from my doorman: "Hey, remember those 25 giant heavy boxes? They're back."

At this point, we're still at the start of the journey when $#*! starts to go down. I still have goodwill and patience. I call DHL customer service to let them know of the situation and the customer service rep reschedules the appointment for me "on Friday from 10 to noon!" she says in a chipper voice. I hang up feeling fine that the problem is going to be out of my hands soon. Little did I know the problem would blow up into a massive diarrhea $#*!fest soon.

Friday at noon, I call my doormen to ask if the packages were picked up. Of course, they weren't. Call DHL. The customer service rep stammers an apology and tells me that the pickup window was actually between 10am-2pm, not 10-noon. "So why did that other rep tell me it was 10-noon?" I ask, starting to get annoyed. They say they don't know, but they assure me it'll be picked up by 2pm. They also apologize for the bad experience and says they'll ask for an escalation manager to contact me.

At 1:35pm, I get a call from the "escalation" "manager" (maximum quotes for maximum sarcasm on every part of this joke of a role's title). He reassures me the delivery will be picked up by 2pm. "So you're saying," I say skeptically, "that in 25 minutes, the courier will be here and my boxes will be gone?" There's a pause, and his voice wavers when he stammers out, "Y-Yes, exactly."

At this point, I'm like, whatever, I know that's complete bull$#*!. "So what else can you do to help me? My shipment's been delayed by a week because nobody responded to my email on the invoice, and my packages got returned." The "escalation" "manager" stammers -- I kid you not -- "emmm, sorry, I can say the packages will be picked up by 2pm. That's-that's all. I-I'm not sure there is anything else I can do."

I'm rolling my eyes at this point and I really don't want to waste more time on DHL BS (joke's on me), so I say fine and hang up.

2pm rolls around and, surprise, surprise, the packages are still here. I call again, and guess what? "Oh, we don't schedule for pickups before 2pm," the fifth customer service rep tells me. "Mornings are for deliveries. Pickups occur after 2pm."

"So why the $#*! did THREE DIFFERENT PEOPLE tell me it would be picked up in TWO DIFFERENT TIMESLOTS before 2pm?!" I'm angry now, because I've spent an entire morning on the phone with them and I have, at this point, BEEN LIED TO THREE TIMES. The service rep says they don't know, but "the courier will be here soon."

"When?"

"I can't say, ma'am, but soon..."

I go through several more iterations of trying to get an actual timeslot from this person before realizing I am not in fact talking to a person but to a joke. I ask her to connect me with an "escalation" "manager" again in a last-dash attempt. She blurts out the "thankyouforusingDHLweaimtoprovidebestinclassserviceandhopeyouaresatisfied" at light speed and hangs up, probably glad to have another problem of DHL's crisis-magnet operations model off her plate.

Surprise! The courier actually shows up at some point around 4pm. Jazz hands, except the remember the diarrhea $#*!fest looming over anything DHL touches? The third act's about to drop.

I get a call, this time from DHL dispatch. "The courier showed up and said that they still don't have the invoice. Also, your labels are not there."

At this point, I'm about to explode. "What do you mean they don't have the invoice? I emailed them twice and seven different people have told me it's fine now so I thought they had it?"

"No, you need the invoice physically printed to hand to the courier."

This person is actually really helpful, so thank you, DHL New Jersey dispatch manager. She is the FIRST PERSON to explain to me that I need to go on DHL's website and "create an invoice." At this point I'm about to have a mental breakdown over the fact that I have spoken with 7 service reps and 2 "escalation" "managers" and NO ONE has told me this. I thank her profusely (I'm on the website and see the invoice and she even gave me a contact number for help to guide me through creating the invoice!) -- but there's just one more cherry on top of the DHL $#*!-pie they bake for their customers.

"What do you mean my labels are not there?"

"They're not there," she replies. "My driver went and took pictures. The labels are all addressed to you. We can't ship them."

At this point I wonder if I'm starring in that memory-loss movie where the guy kills his wife and gets amnesia and we spend the whole movie following him as he tries to figure out who did it because I remember printing all twelve of those labels to the UK and sticking them on every single package myself. I decide to go downstairs and take an actual look at the boxes that my doormen have kindly held for me overnight.

Whoever in DHL returned those boxes to me stuck, in almost a chef's-kiss perfect "$#*!-you"-esque gesture, return labels to my address OVER the shipping labels to the UK. Every single shipping label was PERFECTLY MASKED with the return labels to me. I commend them because this is honestly the best job they've done so far, sticking the return/$#*!-you labels perfectly over my original shipment labels. Chef's kiss, salt-bae except he's sprinkling diarrhea onto the $#*!-pie fudge DHL bakes in their $#*!-fest garden.

At this point, I'm so angry that I've transcended and found my immortal self. I've found Nirvana/zen/peace. I'm so angry that I'm not angry anymore. I just need to roll with the diarrhea $#*!-fest.

I call the invoice-creation helpdesk and the technical assistance person is truly fantastic -- thank you, Gonzalo! I wish I could rate you five stars somewhere. He walks me through every part of creating the invoice and problem-solves impossible tasks for me (i.e. We have to estimate the shipment weight -- how am I supposed to weigh 25 giant boxes of 22,000 book bindings in my one-bedroom apartment?) and is truly the best. Gonzalo, I would nominate you to become DHL's CEO if I could.

Anyway, it's Saturday morning and DHL is closed on weekends (I just called them and nearly vomited at hearing the DHL phone machine bro's voice) and I have transcended into peace. The 25 boxes are sitting in my one-bedroom apartment, my shipment labels all gone and buried under their perfectly-placed return labels to me. I need physically crawl over those boxes so I can get out my door to re-print those labels and print out the invoice, then reschedule my pickup for Monday. I'm quite sure by now if I'd chosen to purchase a sailboat and sail across the Atlantic my packages would be closer to their destination than they currently are. I'm quite sure if I'd strapped my packages to the backs of a school of migratory dolphins crossing the Atlantic they'd be closer to my destination than they currently are. I'm quite sure Frodo and his friends physically walking with my packages up the mountain would have been faster than using DHL because at least they delivered that ring (did they? Or did they destroy it? In any case, they got closer to delivering that ring than DHL did to delivering my packages so far). Thank you, DHL, for truly being one of THE worst service experiences of my (admittedly short) life so far. Thank you for not only handing me a turd-pie, but sprinkling it with more pieces of $#*! before unleashing a deluge of diarrhea that is your completely bull$#*! operations model designed, I'm sure, with the sole intent of $#*!ing your customers over. Thank you!

SUCK $#*! SERVICE. DRIVERS ARE TOO LAZY $#*! TO DROP OFF PACKAGES!
EVERY OTHER CARRIER CAN FIND US!

Without a doubrmt thd worst company on the planet. Please DO NOT WSSTE YOUR TIME WITH THIS $#*!ING IDIOT COMPANY.

I was supposed to receive a package on June 29th delivered from DHL. I ALSO WAS SUPPOSED TO SIGN FOR THE PACKAGE. RECEIVED AN EMAIL STATING THAT MY PACKAGE WAS DELIVERED AND NOTHING! I DIDN'T SIGN FOR ANYTHING! 2 LOUSY EMAILS AND THAT'S IT! IF A COMPANY IS USING DHL TO DELIVER ANYTHING I WOULD DO BUSINESS WITH THEM! DHL SUCKS! I WANT MY PACKAGE or MY MONEY REPLACED. YOU GUYS SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

I've found DHL to be cheaper than UPS and USPS and FedEx when shipping from the US to Europe.